Tales from Tanya!

Let me start this post off by saying I am quite possibly laughing on the inside as every time Tanya or I do something either stupid, funny, ridiculous etc I say to her, “I’m gonna write a blog post about this!”  This has gone on for awhile and she believes this is an empty threat now. Hence this post I am writing now.

I must let everyone know how Tanya has a way with words, and this translates into her awesome story telling abilities. She randomly tells me something and her “amazing” tales usually ends up being the highlight of my day.

Story #1: The flatulent flyer.

One night while riding on the scooter down First Ring Road here in Chengdu a bug hit me in the eye and I explained how I needed sunglasses to protect me from things like that. Tanya then proceeded to explain how one day while walking home from Tianfu Square a bug happened to fly straight into her eye. Normally this would be quite a boring story, one that has probably happened to everyone. She then, in a straight faced and serious tone explained that after the bug made it’s poor landing straight on top of her eye ball the bug then proceeded to fart. She described the fart as some sort of self-defense mechanism that the bug propelled on top of her pupils. Instantly after hearing this I almost fell off the scooter while laughing! That is not only hilarious but it’s probably in the top 3 best things I’ve ever heard someone say. But it didn’t end there! She continued to explain how the bug’s projected stench left a black mark on the eye muscle as she called it (lower eye lid) so it’s quite possible that the bug may have sharted (half fart, half shit. Hey, it happens!) Just when It could not get any better (worse for her?) she describes how her eye stunk for about 3 days after the foul farter left his mark on her.

That is the summary of the story, and as much as I want to say any of it was made up. It sadly wasn’t, and I’m still laughing!

(Still to this day she swears that (common) bugs can, and will fart on people and I deny this (while laughing) but I have not done any research on this. I am afraid of what a Google search for “Bug farts on people” will result in)

Story#2:  Minimalist

This is probably the worst story that has ever been told, but that is what makes it so funny to me. I will quote exactly what was told to me.

Hey, know what happened today? I saw 1 kuai on the ground today and I didn’t pick it up.

She paused after telling me this, thinking there  was more to the story I asked, “and?” She replied with,”That’s all.”

(First off, 1 kuai is around 16 cents Canadian)

Oh… wow. Such a riveting story that was blessed upon my ears. I was laughing so hard knowing she actually felt the need to explain such a story. I’m glad she didn’t leave out the amazing details though.

I’m sure there will be a part two to this as every day is a new day for her to make me laugh/cry/be stunned at her awesome tales.

(I know you will read this Tanya and I apologize! I love you and don’t poison my food! haha )

Feeling odd.

I haven’t really been writing much, if at all on the blog for the last while. That is partly to blame on the VPN not working properly along with the internet being slower than a typical 1995 28.8k modem. It’s also partly to blame that I’ve been in a bit of a slump. It’s not that I’ve been missing Canada or anything like that. I think it’s just “trying” to shove so much vocabulary, characters, and grammar into my head daily has made me lack enthusiasm to write even in my own native language.

Normally I’m the type to could write for hours. I like to express myself through writing and that coupled with the fact I just love to read about anything and everything leaves my head hurting by about 1pm every day. I read every sign, try to process characters or analyze radicals or whatever I may be doing. It becomes so taxing over a prolonged period of time. When I first arrived I could look at them but not really “look” at them. I’d see a character, then look away. It’s quite different after you study for a bit and stuff starts to make a bit of sense.

I get home at 1pm, eat, then just want to lay down. I’m then usually confronted with the girlfriend (warden) who kills that idea mighty quickly. Then the rest of the day could be anything. Some of my classmates can sit down and study all day/night long and it’s not that I don’t want to. I just don’t think I physically could. It just mentally drains me. I am still learning, and I know Tanya wishes I could just sit down and bury my head in the textbook for 5 hours at a time but that isn’t going to happen. The vocabulary, grammar, pronunciation, pinyin (Chinese written out phonetically using the Roman alphabet), it is all okay. I can study that for a prolonged period of time and I’m fine.

But those damn characters! They will be the sole reason for me needing a padded room soon. No one said Chinese was easy, but this is such a humbling kick in the pants. I’ve never felt like such an idiot as studying just a measly 3 new characters only to forget them the next day. Not like sort of forget how to write it, as in completely forget even the first stroke. Lost in the vast small sea of characters floating around in my brain. I often have to turn to my long haired dictionary known as my girlfriend and ask her for the meaning of a (supposed to be) familiar character and as she looks to see what I am pointing at she says innocently, “you know this one.”  She means no harm when she says it, but deep down it makes me feel like such a dumb ass, because she is sorta right, except I should know it. But I easily, oh so very easily forgot it. It’s the worst feeling in the world. Learning Chinese is not just testing my memory, or my aptitude to learning a foreign tonal language. Learning Chinese is mainly testing my patience, kicking my ego down a few notches, and kept me quite humble. But I continue to fight another day and as I write this I probably forgot one or two characters that I learned today but I remind myself: It’s okay. Have fun. Then I just have a laugh at how ridiculous it is to expect anything less.

I think I just wrote more English in this one blog post than I have in the last month. Crazy.

 

No worries though as this is far from a blog written out of depression or being upset about anything.

Been quite busy recently,

Between running around sightseeing, purchasing a new mode of transportation, midterm exams, working, and lastly studying I’ve been quite busy. It would be impossible to write about it all in one post as I’m not feeling that energetic so will break them up. (hopefully!)

 

First off I just bought a (used) scooter, and I couldn’t be any happier! Not only does it make the trips around town that much easier but it’s just plain old fun. The scooter (with just myself on it) gets up to 45’ish km/hr which is great and the battery lasts for roughly 20km. In China they ride them everywhere, road or sidewalk it doesn’t matter as long as it will fit. Other than the insane traffic and the chance of becoming roadkill due to the insane taxis, buses, or numerous cars it is great. Just imagine a game of frogger, except with a crazy white Canadian on a yellow scooter.

And now for the fun part…

Midterms went well, I need to study more but I atleast did better than I thought I would in the “characters” class. I don’t receive my “listening and speaking” exams back until tomorrow but I assume I did decently well as that is the area westerners excel at, compared to other Asian countries (South Korea, Japan, Vietnam etc) which have an advantage with the characters and have trouble with pronunciation.

Through my teacher I found a teaching position which is part time teaching children aged 3 – 12 (separate classes) oral English. The school owners are great and very helpful. The school is located outside of Chengdu and is about a 4 hour drive east, just north of a very big (32 million) metropolis called ChongQing. The kids were great and the pay is decent too, which helps obviously. The school pays for my train ticket there (they personally drove me last time) and they also pay for all of my meals and hotel from Friday night to Sunday afternoon. So it’s definitely a decent workplace. I’ll add more later…

Also, this weekend coming up is yet again another school trip! This time to visit the main tourist attraction of ChengDu, and quite possibly Sichuan province. I get to go to the Panda breeding and research centre. Sichuan province  hosts a large portion of the Giant Panda population and the centre is well known, so it should be a great trip. That’s is only if the lazy pandas feel like waking up and walking around.

I like this too -> Panda is Chinese is 熊猫 (XiongMao) which directly translates to, Bear Cat.

—> I still need to study, more.

Happy Halloween!

Well, I figured I’d make a post (even though it’s almost 1am in China on November 1st) saying Happy Halloween.

I miss the “holiday” as it’s nice to see so many people getting into the spirit of Halloween, and not just for young kids either.

China (at least Chengdu) pretty much has very little knowledge about Halloween and the only places that threw Halloween parties were bars/clubs that almost strictly cater to foreigners.

I’m not much of a holiday person, not too into the whole celebrations myself but what I do love is seeing society in general all celebrating together. I think that’s the only reason I happen to like Halloween as with Christmas and other holidays it is all indoors and any/all celebrating is done behind closed doors. Halloween is obviously different as an army of short ghosts and witches parade with their bags down the street hoping to hit the sweet tooth jackpot as we all had our favorite houses to visit where we would remember previous year’s treats given out. Then you see the (usually) frozen parents straggling along as they wait patiently at the end of each driveway, usually in a cheerful mood at the beginning until they remember that after the first bag, they now have to carry it until the second or third bag is full. I assume it’s not a parent’s dream holiday, but it makes the kids go crazy, and it keeps the dentist busy for the next 6 months. Everybody wins!

After writing all of that, I wish I was a kid again dressing up as a ninja turtle.

Even though it’s 12:44pm right now in China and Halloween is past with no celebration, to those of you on the other side of the pond please enjoy your night, and drive responsibly!

Busted by the police!

Not me of course!

There is a bridge by my apartment named Jiu yan qiao (九眼桥) which is where you will be told to go for one thing -> to buy a (stolen) cheap bike.

Well, the other day while taking an afternoon walk I pass by the same spot I do everyday where they yell at me “mai che! mai che!” (买车！买车！) which is buy bike! buy bike!     This particular afternoon they didn’t seem so enthusiastic though as I saw about 100 bikes on the side of the road and a handful of police cars and a lot of policemen. They had finally been busted (I previously wondered how they got away with it as it is a well known spot)

The process of buying a bike there is quite the shady act. You follow them down an alley that usually smells of urine and then up a couple flights of stairs to someones apartment where they store (sometimes 10 or 20) bikes in bedrooms, and anywhere else they can put them. That’s when negotiations start and can be a lengthy process. I only know of this because… well, that’s where I bought my bike from. Luckily I had some locals to bargain for me so it ended up quite cheaper than normal for a foreigner.

Well, here is a photo of what I saw. The large group is a lot of the sellers and the people who live in buildings the bikes are stored in (which is behind that wall the bikes are lined up against.)  It was quite an interesting sight as I see many policemen and police cars but haven’t seen them pull anyone over, or even seem like they’re doing any police work at all until now. So was an interesting event for my otherwise boring stroll around the block.

English corner.

I joked a lot before I came to China about how I would forget English during my stay here. Well, Tanya can confirm how much my English ability has slowly but surely actually declined! I’ve been fumbling words daily and also oddly enough creating words (like the other week I mixed the word remember, and memorize together creating rememorize). Tanya has a good laugh at it daily and pokes fun whenever I slip up and speak like a typical English as a second language student, but it’s all good.

Tonight In about 10 minutes I am leaving to go to the Universities sport centre where every Friday night at 7:30pm holds an “English corner.”   This is where locals and foreigners who speak or study English as a second language can come together and converse in English. For a native speaker such as myself I (hopefully!) won’t learn anything, but I feel the locals are so hospitable at being patient with me and figuring out andh elping me with my Chinese that the least I can do in return is help a few locals with their English. Most rarely, if ever get a chance to sit down and chat with a native English speaker so it should be a cool environment. I’ll make a post after explaining how it went.

Also, today I got my first haircut here. It looks quite, “normal” to say the least. I’ll post a picture after.  The haircut cost me 40 RMB (Around $6 Canadian) and it included a wash, a scalp massage, a cut, and another wash after the cut. Awesome service!

Typical

Every time something goes wrong I whisper to myself, “Welcome to China!”

Yesterday in class all five of the students that are running/competing in the track events are asked to stay after class. We are then given the scheduled times for which we will compete over the Friday/Saturday competitions. Since I was limited to running in only 2 events I chose the 200 meter and the relay race. When I happened to be called though I was put into the 400 meter race and was told the relay race was cancelled. I wasn’t too happy about them doubling the distance I happened to want to compete in. Due to my recent health concerns (which I won’t get into on here) I both don’t, and shouldn’t push myself as much as a 400 meter sprint would require me to. So, without any notice, or asking me they switched the race I wanted to be in and I was notified 2 days before the competition. So, I’m on the sidelines for this one. I’m kinda bummed about it due to the fact that I was looking forward to having fun competing with the locals. Ah well, welcome to China and it’s way of life.

What’s New?

So, after the one week break and the madness that ensued before, and during the time off I thought I could enjoy a bit of a slower paced life. Wrong.

This past weekend I got a chance to go to 青城山 (Mount Qing Cheng). It has a peak elevation of around 1,260 meters (4,134 feet) and is one of the most famous Taoist mountains in China ．It was quite an experience seeing both the landscape and experiencing the hike up the mountain as it was my first time in such an environment. Even though 4,134 feet at the peak did seem high, and the view was amazing, it is still a little mountain compared to others in the area (like Mount Emei, which I will visit is 10,167 feet!) but for a first climb this was great. I loved the temples along the way and the untouched trees/nature was just peaceful considering I now live in a town with a population of around 14 million! (Half of Canada!)   So it was nice while it lasted.

(I’ll post a picture here after, when the image uploader feels like working on this website)

So – like before, I hope things slow down a bit in the future. I have the sports competition this coming Friday and Saturday, along with trying to find time to study every now and then as I need to practice my writing and reading of the characters a lot more. Comprehension and retaining the hundreds of individual characters is sometimes easy, but sometimes very very difficult but always frustrating!  The joys of learning the language though, all part of the process. It’s quite a humbling process and is easily the toughest thing I’ve had to do. I used to complain about studying contractual law or memorizing a handful of insurance policies each with their own exclusions etc, or even studying Spanish back home in College. All of that easily pales in comparison to studying Chinese here and the complexities involved. It’s humbling to put 100% into something and just receive a kick to the groin for all of your hard work after you realize you forgot characters, or you still can’t read a certain word/phrase etc. But it’s not just me this happens to, it’s everyone. So it’s like a right of passage and a kind of initiation to the club, the club filled with people speaking and reading Mandarin Chinese.

I bought some DVD’s (fake obviously) the other day from the store beside my classroom. One is the TV show “House” Season 1-6, and the other is “True Blood” season 1-3. I’ve seen all of the episodes but I like to still watch them, and most importantly they all have Chinese subtitles so I can try and read/recognize characters and maybe pick up one or two while watching. I picked up all 9 seasons combined for 48 yuan, which is about $7.60 Canadian Dollars. Not too bad, and the quality is decent.

There is so much more to write, but I must go to bed right now as it’s 10:53pm and Tanya is yelling at me to go to shut off the laptop and either study or fall asleep.

 

Short film

Well, tonight I am off to be an extra in a short film being filmed by some local people.

It was offered and I happened to be free and felt the need to get out of the apartment from studying. So a classmate and myself are going.

So I leave to go do that in about 30 minutes and should be fun.

I have no idea what the film is about so just like 99.9% of the things I encounter or am faced with in China, I’m just jumping in head first. It’s not a speaking role or anything, but just is something different from the norm.

Fun.

Absence…

Well, after a 3 week or so absence everything is finally back to normal.

1) My UPS delivery for my shoes and camera arrived, albeit after 10 days on a 3 day delivery guaranteed package.

2) School.

3) National Day Holiday (is 1 whole week off school)

4) Visitation from a ton of people who were occupying our apartments 2nd (spare) bedroom.

5) Relaxation.

So, my camera and shoes arrived which is great. I’ve been using the camera a lot and Tanya loves it also. Also important is my running shoes arrived which I’ve been putting to good use daily with running. The track and field competition is approaching quite quickly (1.5 weeks) and it’s great to actually get to participate. Today I even received an official jacket/pants track outfit that is 四川大学 (Sichuan University) branded which is cool.

School has been picking up lately which the class moving on to the second book for my comprehension class and the test for that is this coming Friday (14th). So I have been, and also trying, to study as much as possible as I know some of my weak points I need to work on.

Also, National Day Holiday was last week and I had the whole week off of school. The teach said this doesn’t mean I have time away from studying, it just gives me more time to study at home, instead of in class. I tried to follow her directions! But… first couple of days I was lazy, admittedly I did very little and relaxed. Then when Tuesday rolled around Tanya’s sister and her husband came over for a visit and stayed the night after we spent the afternoon/night on JinLi Street (The ancient area). Then they left and we had one night alone. Then randomly at 8:30am’ish Tanya received a call in the morning stating that there is 6 of them on the bus and to expect arrival around 11am. So, Tanya’s parents, her sister and husband, and her sisters husband’s parents all showed up for a whole day of sitting around, eating, and just random talking. They left around 9pm with Tanya’s parents staying at the apartment for the remainder of the holidays.

Now… let me start off by saying Tanya’s parents are very hospitable people, very kind, generous, and funny but… they are so loud.

Everything they do is at volume 11, chatting, TV, cooking, eating, everything. There is no quiet time to study so my plans to study quite a bit was (unintentionally) interrupted by just the way of life here.   But life goes on and it’s okay.

On Monday they went back to their home (in ZiYang city) and took Tanya with them. So until Tanya comes back on Friday or so I have as much peace and quiet as I want, which helps. I do enjoy the help from a native speaker such as Tanya when I have questions though but I will survive.

This is such a long post right now so I will stop writing and will update tomorrow, or maybe again later tonight.

Until then, here is a picture from the bridge beside my apartment at night time.

The bridge I am on is named 九眼桥 and it is located looking out over the river to another bridge with old architecture and lots of lights.